Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Separation Anxiety

Honestly, the first thing that comes to mind when I hear those words are a dog frantically pacing and gazing out the window waiting for "mommy" to come home. Those sorts of dogs annoy me. I never put up with that and our dogs always waited patiently, or quietly at least, until the absent person returned. What really annoys me is me driving away from the house and my mind is picturing me as that frantic dog. Now why would I think of myself as a frantic upset dog? Because I'm missing my baby.

Tonight will be night number four that I have to leave the house and my baby because I'm returning back to work. I want to work.... actually I want that paycheck but unfortunately they don't just hand those out, so I've got to leave for hours and do my time and then I get the paycheck. Returning to work is much easier said than done. Part of me thought at first I'd be missing being able to stay home all day and just care for myself and the Frog, but as I drive away I actually find myself starting to freak out a bit. I didn't realize how often I glance over my shoulder to the carseat to see the top of his head and that mop of fine fluffy hair. The first time I glanced and didn't see it, my stomach lurched and my eyes got huge until a second later and I realized he was safe at home with DBF. I've got it easier than some moms too. I work part time nights and weekends. I work when DBF isn't and can take care of the Frog while I'm gone. But all I can think about is getting home to my boy. I found myself quite frustrated on Sunday when someone brought their two month old girl in to have her ears pierced and after all was said and done, I looked at her contentedly sucking on her bottle and ended up in tears because I missed the Frog that much all of a sudden. Hormones got the best of me and my sympathetic manager was shoving chocolates at me ((which, by the way, the Whitman's Double Chocolate Mousse individually packaged chocolates with the Weight Watchers logo are amazing... do yourself a favor and go buy some now!)). I was annoyed that I did not voluntarily start tearing up and it wasn't stopping either! Surely it gets easier from here!

The Frog apparently doesn't mind the absence of boob too much. Either way I give him ample opprtunity to nurse right before I leave and as soon as I get home. DBF is patient and answers my many repetitive texts. "How's the Frog?" "What's he doing now?" "Is he being good or is he fussy?" I suppose I'll have to cut those annoying dogs some slack because right n ow I'm not much better!


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